Kill Gleemax!
Tempers flared when Dungeons & Dragons players started to fear that their two favourite magazines had been replaced by some kind of brain in a jar website. It turns out that’s not quite the case, but I figured that if enough players have an axe to grind with Gleemax, that they might as well do it accompanied by a mage, thief and cleric.
I’m told it’s some kind of Magic: The Gathering in-joke.
Gleemax, CR20
Advanced brain in a jar psion20 (telepath)
NE Tiny undead
Libris Mortis 90
Init +3; Senses blindsight 60ft., darkvision 60ft; Listen +14, Spot +14
Telepathy 100ft, language-dependant
AC 14, touch 14, flat-footed 11
hp 311 (29HD; turn resistance +8)
Immune undead traits
Fort +9, Ref +12, Will +20
Spd fly 30ft (good)
Space 1ft.; Reach –
Psionic powers known (CL 20th, 403pp/day);
9th–affinity field, assimilate, psionic etherealness, microcosm, psychic chirurgery, reality revision
8th–mind seed, recall death, true metabolism
7th–crisis of life, decerebrate, insanity
6th–mind switch, mass cloud mind, psionic disintegrate
5th–mind probe, leech field, psychic crush, psionic true seeing
4th–mind wipe, psionic dominate, psionic modify memory, telekinetic maneuver
3rd–dispel psionics, false sensory input, psionic blast, time hop
2nd–ego whip, brain lock, read thoughts, psionic suggestion
1st–conceal thoughts, distract, inertial armor, mind thrust, psionic charm
Special Atk mind thrust, psionics, rebuke undead
Abilities Str —, Dex 16, Con —, Int 20, Wis 10, Cha 25
SQ Madness, +8 turn resistance
Feats Ability Focus (mind thrust), Alertness, Delay Power, Dodge, Force of Will, Greater Power Penetration, Improved Turn Resistance, Iron Will, Overchannel, Power Penetration, Psionic Dodge, Quicken Power, Skill Focus (Bluff), Skill Focus (Diplomacy)
Skills Concentration +20, Bluff +42, Diplomacy +42, Knowledge (history) +37, Knowledge (psionics) +37, Knowledge (religion) +37, Listen +14, Profession (game designer) +12, Psicraft +25, Spot +14
Mind Thrust (Su): As a standard action, Gleemax can deliver an assault on the mental pathways of one creature, dealing 2d10 points of damage to any creature which fails a DC 20 Will save.
Madness (Su): Anyone targetting Gleemax with thought detection, mind control or any sort of telepathic or psionic ability that makes direct contact with its tortured mind takes 1d4 points of Wisdom damage.
Psionics (Sp): 3/day–suggestion (DC20), telekinesis (DC22); 1/day–dominate person (DC20). Manifester level 20th.
Rebuke Undead (Su): Gleemax can rebuke or command undead as a level 9 cleric.
Unholy Toughness, aka Dragotha Rule (Ex): Gleemax gains a bonus to its hit points equal to its Charisma modifier x its Hit Dice, just because.
March 16th, 2008 at 2:11 am
This is a D&D creature description, called a ‘write-up’ in the parlance. This is not a write up of anything in Magic The Gathering. It is a hilarious fucking joke, and thank you for spreading it! I will be sure to kill that fucking thing in my game SOON. My players will drool for the pleasure. Although….Undead 20th Level Psion Unbodied are pesky enemies.
March 26th, 2008 at 4:49 am
The gleemax is a MTG in-joke. It was a joke card they printed that cost a lot and was ridiculously powerful.